The family is the cell of the society, there is no family harmony, there is no social harmony. Family harmony is mainly reflected in the harmony among family members. In recent years, accompanied by a large number of migrant workers in rural areas, there are a lot of left behind families in rural areas. In the left behind family, going out for a long time is as the core members of the family of the young, their long-term lack of the traditional stable family intergenerational structure was severely damaged, the intergenerational relationship is becoming more and more complicated, intergenerational conflict is becoming more and more intense. Therefore, under the view of harmonious society, the scientific analysis of rural left behind family intergenerational relationship status, we explore the rural left behind the inherent reason of family intergenerational conflict and based on the exploration of rural left behind family intergenerational harmony construction path, it is necessary also important. Here, the author attempts to make a preliminary study.
One, the characteristics of the intergenerational relationship of rural left behind families.
Along with the deepening of rural reform, the emergence of a large number of rural surplus labor force, and in the process of industrialization and urbanization, cities and need more labor and under the interaction of rural reform, industrialization and urbanization, a large number of rural labor force began rushed to the city. To this day, the phenomenon continues. According to data released by the National Bureau of Statistics website show that in the second quarter of 2013, the number of rural migrant workers reached 171 million 110 thousand. A large number of rural labor force go out, the direct result is a large number of rural left behind families appear, and the left behind in rural family members and mainly the elderly, women and children. Therefore, some scholars have vividly described it as the "386199" phenomenon of rural society, "38" on behalf of women, "61" on behalf of children, "99" represents the elderly. Rural left behind family, is known as the "left behind", the fundamental reason lies in the absence of the family members, if not absence of family members of the so-called "left behind". Therefore, "left behind" is another expression of absence. The long absence of the core members of the rural left behind families has changed the structure and function of the rural traditional family, and the new characteristics of the intergenerational relations are also presented.
1 structural imbalance.
"Inter generation relation is a kind of vertical family relationship. It is established on the basis of blood, by the common life of several generations of people constitute an important family relationship." Its essence is the frequent interaction among family members of different generations. How to form and interact with each other, how to interact with each other, will affect the content and effect of family intergenerational relationship.
In the rural left behind families, the core members of the family to go out for a long time, to a certain extent, led to the generation of the structure of the defect. This is like building a good building blocks on one of the first layer, the stability of the original is bound to be severely damaged. Especially in the vast rural areas, migrant workers to the family members of the majority of young men. On the one hand, they are the mainstay of the family, parents support, childcare have to rely on them to complete; on the other hand, they or family relationships of the adhesive, the differences among family members mainly rely on them to eliminate, family force mainly rely on them to condense. Their defect will inevitably lead to the imbalance of the family structure. Especially for the husband and wife of migrant workers in rural families, because the whole defect generation, family generation structure is not the general change, but the subversive changes.
Under such circumstances, a three generation households is the backbone of the family will become two generation households, and grandparents and grandchildren composed of inter generational type two generation households, two generation households will become a generation households; if it is a pair of spouses and minor children constitute the core family of two generation households and couples with the absence of actually leads to is the disintegration of the family. Structure determines the relationship between the family and the structure of the inter generational imbalance will inevitably bring about the imbalance of intergenerational relations.
2 role of dislocation.
The family is the interaction of the family members of the organism, the family function needs to play the family members of the division of cooperation and close cooperation. This means that in the structure of the family, each family member has a specific division of labor, have a belong to own role, play their role, play their function is the premise of the normal operation of the family. It's like a clock, it's on time or not, it's up to each gear to run. But in the countryside left behind family, a core member of the family, due to the state of migrant workers in the absence of long-term, originally they should bear the role function can not be into full play, a family to support the normal operation of the, only to their roles and functions of the hand by left behind by other members of the family to be exercised on his behalf. The role of the original orderly division of labor was broken, the role of family members appeared in disorder. For example, in the son go out for a long time working three generation households, daughter-in-law not only to play originally belonged to his daughter-in-law, the wife and the mother role, the husband also generation out of the bear as a son, a father's duty, she not only husband and take care of her in laws, but also a man picking up originally by the couple jointly responsible for the production labor, decisions, foreign exchanges, soothe emotions such as family responsibilities. If things go on like this, not only the role identification daughter-in-law was in disorder, but also for family tensions foreshadowed. This is because, on the one hand, in the "son", his daughter-in-law, "husband", wife, father, mother of the multiple roles played under, daughter-in-law have been overwhelmed, which not only makes the generation for the exercise of the roles and responsibilities of the difficult to complete, is originally belonged to their role also bound to influence; on the other hand, daughter-in-law to exercise just as the son, a husband, a father should assume some of the responsibilities and not all of it is, after all, "to" not "substitution", the family members of the division of roles is natural, not replace, also can not be replaced.
The son and daughter of the three generation of long-term migrant households, is left behind elderly grandparents and young grandchildren. Due to the long-term absence of offspring, originally should be a comfortable ancestors and had to return to prostitution afford to maintain the family operation task, and also the generation out of the son and daughter-in-law to assume their age, knowledge, energy and disproportionate take care of their grandchildren life and discipline responsibility for their learning. This will no doubt make a harmonious and orderly division of the role of the family was seriously damaged, the role of serious confusion. Especially in the ancestors of physical ill health and advanced age of left behind families, young grandchildren sometimes generation migrant parents assume the responsibility of taking care of grandparents.
3 content complexity.
In the traditional three generation households, although composed of three generations, but inter generational relations is not complex, its core is the parent-child relationship, namely the parent-child relation of grandparents and filial parent-child relationship and offspring with their grandchildren, and between grandparents and grandchildren while the common life together, direct interaction is not much, the possibility of conflict is small. However, in the rural left behind families, because the middle part or all of the family members are absent, not only changed the original structure, but also changed the original intergenerational interaction. One is to increase the direct interaction between the various generations of the family members. In traditional complete three generation households in the family, the intergenerational interaction occurs mainly in a parent-child relationship between two generations, inter generational direct interaction is not much. But in rural left behind family, as a result of the middle generation of family members in whole or in part the absence of, inter generational direct interaction of probability and frequency increases greatly. Two is to expand the family of the interactive content of each generation. In traditional complete three generations of the family intergenerational relationship mainly by two pairs of parent-child relationship composition and interactive content also have to focus on, grandparents and filial interaction is mainly concentrated in the elderly on, sons and grandchildren interaction mainly concentrated in the child's upbringing. But in rural left behind family, because of the middle generation of part or all of the absence of, originally they should bear the role function can only be borne by the family members left behind, so that each generation of interactive content has become more and more complex. In order to maintain the family's normal operation, maintenance, upbringing, production, foreign exchanges, soothe emotions such as may become the contents of intergenerational interaction, and they are often intertwined together, let the intergenerational relationship becomes very complicated.
Two, rural left behind family conflict and its performance.
Generation replacement is the objective requirement and vivid display of the sustainable development of human society. Therefore, in the development of human society, the difference between the generation and the generation is inevitable. If there is no difference, there is no division of the so-called generation, it is impossible to have the development of human society. That is to say, we recognize the existence of the generation of the time, has recognized the intergenerational differences. But the differences are not opposite. The development of human society requires not only the difference between generations, but also the need to seek harmony between the generation and the generation. Because only the harmony between generations, in order to promote the development of human society. And through the previous analysis we can find, families left behind in rural areas because of the long-term absence of the core members of the family leads to intergenerational family structure imbalance, intergenerational role dislocation and intergenerational relations complex, all these will pull of family intergenerational differences, and even the formation of violent intergenerational conflict.
Specifically, these conflicts can be summarized as follows:
1 the concept of conflict.
In rural left behind families, the long-term absence of core members of the family, not only changes the original structure and the relationship between the family, but also profoundly changes the ideas of the family, and even lead to conflict.
Specifically, the concept of consumption is prone to conflict. In rural left behind family, economic conditions are not well-off is a common feature, whenever economic well-off some, who would not choose uprooted migrant workers. Therefore, the issue of how to spend money is always the core issue of these families. But on the question of how to consume, the difference of each generation of the family is very big, even formed the violent conflict. In the three generation households for example, as the elderly grandparents to thrift, less consumption or consumption as well, in their opinion, wasteful money is prodigal; as a young child, although they also claim to, but that the consumer to the consumer, but also in the period of work by the Minister of foreign affairs influence of city consumption concept deeply, also does not exclude of consumption as appropriate; young grandchildren, the hardships of life, money is not easy for them to experience is not deep, therefore, in the consumption of more modern and fashionable pursuit of their love, love competition, peers tend to have a love of fashion brands as show the capital. The two is the conflict of old age ideas. Pension is an important function of the family, until today, no matter in the Western or Chinese families still bear the burden of supporting the elderly, raising children." 2 but in the concept of the pension, there is a big difference between the generations. Especially in the adult sub generation of migrant workers in rural families, the concept of different generations of old-age pension. Grandparents generation "and" the concept is deeply ingrained, they put pension hopes on his son, hope son and daughter-in-law can long-term accompany in your side carefully take care of their own life, like children around the knee's feeling. But the brutal reality is that they will not be able to get his son, daughter-in-law care. In the contrary, we should take in the production of household, take care of their grandchildren's task. In the huge psychological gap, they can not help but worry about the lives of their old age, these concerns can not help but accumulate a pair of sons, daughter's complaint. And as a filial son, they although the identity of the parents pension liability, but they more will this responsibility to understand economic help, think that as long as parents to protect the lives of supply, let parents have enough to live comfortably, also to make their own responsibility. Even thought he was working out is to give parents and families to provide a better life, a sense is greater the filial. Three is the conflict of educational ideas. Pay attention to the younger generation of the education is the consensus of the members of the family. And for many families of migrant workers, the grandchildren to provide better education is often they migrant workers an important motivation.
However, grandparents and children but there are great differences in the understanding of education children. As the old grandparents, although they attaches great importance to the grandchildren's education, but due to the limitation of knowledge level, energy, often the spirit is willing and can give grandchildren learning help is very limited. And that his son, daughter-in-law, long-term in the side of grandchildren is a debt, could not bear to learning of the grandchildren of the stringent management, tend to think that just had to go on the line, even think that the care of grandchildren of life is more important, learning depends mainly on the grandchildren themselves. And as a long-term migrant workers generation, they will be hoping to sustenance in the child's body, their expectations for their children, eager to children through their own efforts to change the family's fate. Their desire to become the desire of children excellence. Therefore, their concern for their children's education is often focus on academic performance, and to the child's physical and mental health, moral character are often too busy to attend. As long as the children's academic performance is not good, they will be severely scolded for their children, and even blame their parents do not do their duties, which led to the tension of family relations.
2 conflicts in the way of life.
In the rural left behind family, migrant workers of family members, often live in the field and foreign way of life imperceptibly affect their, their way of life was different in the left behind family members, which easily lead to the generation on the way of life of conflict. In three generation households, for example, as ancestors left behind, they are long lived in the countryside, the rural experience and way of life is their greatest asset, they hope in the familiar homeland in a calm and stable life way of enjoying their later years. City life is very strange to them, also very far away, will not go to pursue and don't want to pursue. And as the sub generation, due to long-term overseas workers, urban life deeply attracted them, even the too uptown in people's life as their own goals. So in the long-term dip in the city life, quietly changing their way of life, trying to eliminate the gap between themselves and the city people. With the passage of time, urban life become familiar with their way of life, life in the countryside has become strange. Once in a while to return home will also surprised to find himself has been difficult to adapt to country life. And this is not adapted to the ancestors left behind it is a kind of origin, I would complain. And for the young grandchildren, the modern way of life of their influence is profound, grandparents and parents of the life is not what they want, their pursuit of fashion and modern, like life is full of excitement, challenge and personality. For them, nagging grandparents and parents of the tube bundle are great fetters, in an attempt to fight the grandparents and parents through his rebellious, thereby leading to the conflict with the intergenerational family.
3 conflicts in the emotional exchange.
Family is the place of emotional exchange, the affection of the comfort is often we face difficulties, courage to go forward to the infinite power. However, due to the long absence of the core members of the family in rural areas, the emotional exchange between family members has been an obstacle, and even evolved into a violent emotional conflict. The essence of the conflict is the contradiction between the emotional demand and the supply of family members. As for the elderly left behind, along with increasing age they are need to children's emotional comfort, especially in today's rural food and clothing have resolved, their food, clothing and worry free, emotional needs over the material needs, become the first demand. They need to talk to their children, the children need more greetings. However, due to the long-term out of the children's generation, this demand is difficult to be met, resulting in the left behind the old man's spiritual loneliness.
For the left behind wife, due to the long-term separation of the couple, it is difficult to communicate in a timely and effective manner, the feelings between husband and wife easily alienated. Especially in a heavy responsibility for the family, the left behind wife urgent need as a pillar of the family of her husband's comfort and encouragement, but in practice but it is very difficult to timely response, often in a helpless situation, with the passage of time, easy to produce complaints and disappointment to her husband, so as to affect the couple's feelings, marriage stability. For children, parents are their greatest spiritual support, they also need to need fatherly motherly love. Mr Fei Xiaotong once pointed out: "human beings seem to have found one of the most effective ways to raise a child." 3 but for rural families left behind, double lines into a single department originally tending tending, even those tending. Under this situation, left behind children to parents of emotional appeal is very difficult to meet, they are often in a of the parents of the missing, with the passage of time, easy to cause the eccentric character and psychological inferiority, and even resentment of their parents.
And for the family members of migrant workers, they are also in a state of emotional hunger. They are displaced from their homes, living in a strange land, on the one hand, the family pregnant with deep thoughts; on the other hand, under the pressure of the life and to the family talk about emotions, seeking spiritual comfort needs. But all this, because of the distance between the barrier becomes difficult to achieve.
Three, the construction path of intergenerational harmony of rural left behind families.
Through the above analysis, it is not difficult to find that the long-term absence of the core members of the rural families in rural areas, which seriously damaged the structure and function of the family, which led to the tension and conflict between the family and the generation of the family. Therefore, it is imperative to construct a harmonious rural left behind family intergenerational relationship.
1 enhance intergenerational communication.
In the rural left behind family, because of its left behind sex has led to the generation of conflict. But this conflict is not the essence of the opposition, but in the fundamental interests and the basic principles of differences on the basis of consensus. When it comes to the generation gap, Mr. Jin Kemu once pointed out: "no matter how deep the ditch, the bottom is always connected to the two sides, or it is not a ditch but divided into two parts." Therefore, no matter how severe the intergenerational conflict of rural left behind in the rural areas, it can be eliminated by the 4. As the saying goes: "interrupted bones are connected to the ribs", there is a cut between the family of the constant blood ties, the common emotional foundation and goal pursuit, which has provided the premise and foundation for the inter generational conflict. On this basis, as long as the various generations to strengthen communication, enhance mutual trust, and then the differences and conflicts can be resolved. Therefore, it is imperative to establish a democratic, equal and mutual trust.
First, equality is the premise of intergenerational communication. Every member of the family is independent of the subject, between them should be equal, there is no status hierarchy and identity of attachment. Therefore, in the rural left behind the construction of family intergenerational communication, to eliminate that men are superior to women, patriarchal authority for thought, let the family on behalf of the equal dialogue between, and communicate effectively. Secondly, democracy is the inherent requirement of inter generation communication. Democracy is the symbol of civilization of human society. It is not only the request of the state and society, but also the request of the family. In today, democracy has become a measure of the level of civilization and intergenerational relationships of family health and no sign of the scale. Therefore, it is necessary to realize the inter generational democracy to establish effective inter generational communication. Is to change the past "a head of household, rule the roost, one-way" parent wind that make, fully respect the subject status of family members, so that every member of the family can be fully and freely to express their views. Only in this way can the family members have a real dialogue, and only dialogue can eliminate the differences and misunderstandings among family members. Then, enhance understanding and mutual trust is the goal. The process of inter generational communication is a process of deepening understanding and seeking consensus among different generations. That is to say, communication is only a means, understanding and mutual trust is the goal. Today, the intergenerational conflict of the rural left behind families, on a large level, is due to the lack of understanding and mutual trust between family members. Therefore, to eliminate the intergenerational conflict in rural left behind families, the key is to enhance understanding and mutual trust among family members. This requires that families of each generation, on the one hand to learn empathy, holding "considerate" attitude to look at each other's attitudes and behavior. Don't push people to have First impressions are strongest. Specifically, the remaining members of the family to understand the hard work of migrant workers, migrant workers should be considerate of the family members of the family left behind. On the other hand, to learn tolerance, in order to tolerate the attitude of different and have their own words and deeds. On behalf of the members of families in rural areas in age, knowledge, experience and living environment have great difference, so they make some different from themselves, even a "radical" words and deeds must be understanding and tolerance, increase mutual trust in the understanding, in the inclusion poly consensus.
2 to strengthen the government's support and guidance.
Due to the young and middle-aged labor force out of the family members of the two places separated, which is the total root cause of the conflict between the rural left behind families. Therefore, only the end of the family members of the separation of the state, the issue of inter generational conflict can be a fundamental solution. However, to really put an end to this state, rely on farmers own strength is difficult to accomplish, because are displaced from their homes, away from their loved ones of migrant workers was originally they forced choice of life rogue, whenever there is a better way out they won't make this choice. So to change this state, more to rely on the government's support and guidance. First, the left behind government should encourage, support and guide the migrant workers to return home to start a business or employment. The end of the family members of the two separated state, in essence, is to solve the problem of the employment of the rural surplus labor. This requires that left behind on the one hand, the government should vigorously promote economic reform, and constantly enhance the economic development vitality and potential and attractive, provide more jobs and entrepreneurial opportunities, in order to attract migrant workers returning home for business or workers; on the other hand to migrant workers return home employment, provide business conditions, to build a platform, through policy guidance, financial support, professional guidance etc. full effort, let migrant workers willing to return home, we can return home, until the unwilling to villages. Two migrant workers to provide conditions for the family of migrant workers. Migrant workers are indispensable to the development of modern urban builders, and they have paid for the construction and development of the city, contributed to the strength. Therefore, workers local government to respect for migrant workers, to make them when the master, to understand their sufferings, listen to their voice, to solve their worries; of those conditions and the ability of families of migrant workers, to help them to actively resolve the practical difficulties of medical care, schooling, social insurance, etc., provide not less than the standard of local public services, so that they can really integrate into city; to those who do not have ability conditions and family of migrant workers to their home to visit relatives, migrant family reunion create conditions and provide help, let their family not because of the time, the space barrier and indifference.
3 promote social assistance.
The construction of intergenerational harmony of rural left behind families needs the joint efforts of family members, need the support and guidance of the government, but also need the help of the community. Because the rural left behind family is the organic molecules of society, there is no rural left behind family harmony, there is no harmonious society as a whole. Therefore, we must face the intergenerational problems of rural left behind families, and actively mobilize all kinds of social forces into the harmonious construction of the intergenerational harmony of rural left behind families. Specifically, the first is to respect and care for rural families left behind. The rural left behind family is the product of the special stage of social development, and its formation has specific objective reasons. We can not discriminate against them, as a social burden, but to respect them, care for them, give them special care, so that they truly feel the warmth of society. Two is to provide a positive social help. Rural left behind family and other ordinary families compared have faced many practical difficulties in production and daily life. So we have to actively mobilize all the forces of society, through various channels and in various ways provide positive and effective help, solve their practical difficulties, they help the total degree of difficulty, together against all kinds of risks. Three is to carry out a positive spirit of comfort.
At present, the lack of family, spiritual loneliness is the outstanding problems of rural left behind families. Therefore, in social assistance, in addition to care about their production and life, but also to pay attention to their emotions and spirit. Therefore, we must in the form of voluntary service, deep into the rural left behind family, to carry out positive spiritual comfort, to fill the blank of their emotions, eliminate their lonely spirit, let them with positive, healthy, optimistic attitude to face life, to meet the challenges.
The left behind family is the result of the social transformation, and is the result of the comprehensive function of the rural reform, industrialization and urbanization. Because we are still in the socialist primary stage, the task of rural reform, industrialization and urbanization is still far from complete, thus the emergence of migrant farmers phenomenon is not in the short term change. This means that rural left behind families can not disappear in the short term. Therefore, the construction of a harmonious rural intergenerational family left behind is a long way to go. This research work aims to initiate, in order to lead us to think deeply about the problem. We firmly believe that as long as there is the correct leadership of the party and the government, the extensive concern of the whole society, the communication and mutual trust among the family members left behind in rural areas, left behind family intergenerational conflict problem can be solved, and we look forward to the harmonious society will certainly be able to achieve.
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