10. Sample Essays: Subculture Unit
SAMPLE ESSAYS SUBCULTURE ASSIGNMENT
Instructions: Use to help you understand the grading of your essay
Assignment Review
English 1A : Define A Popular Subculture
Guiding Questions
Writing Prompt
Sample essays
You should be able to:
q Use the definition of "culture" to help you define a "subculture"
q Use essay organization, i.e. Introduction, Body, Conclusion, as a way of defining a chosen subculture
q Use textual citation to help make your definition of subculture clear.
q Use examples of artifacts (man made items) as a way of defining subculture/culture
q Use your personal experience with or in the subculture as evidence
q Attempt to describe, from your perspective, the essence of the subculture you are defining.
The following resources will help you define "culture," a stepping stone to defining a "subculture." A Subculture has many of the same characteristics as a culture, in terms of its constituent elements, but denotes a smaller culture encompassed by a larger culture. In order to write this essay you should have considered fully how you define culture (which you’ve done in your in-class essay), and have read the following:
1. John Bodley's "An Anthropological Perspective" in your CR
2. Eric Miraglia, Dr. Richard Law, and Peg Collins' "A Baseline Definition of Culture" in your CR
3. An Interview with someone in your subculture.
Source Material Resources:
Anthropological puzzle: When does culture affect behavior? - John Sanford discusses the various ways anthropologists use definitions of culture in their disciplines.
URL: http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2003/february12/cultures-212.html
The Etymology "Culture" - this site looks at the word culture and explores the meaning of culture.
URL: http://imej.wfu.edu/articles/1999/1/02/demo/gallery/Literary/defcult.html
What is culture? - A web site devoted to defining culture, in its full complexity.
URL: http://www.wsu.edu:8001/vcwsu/commons/topics/culture/culture-index.html#top
Thou Shalt Not Be Judged - Student writer Mark Probest discusses the concern of stereotyping when defining a subculture. this is not a sample essay, but gives some examples of "subcultures" in its discussion.
URL: http://as.uwb.edu/commons/issues/vol7_issue19/judged.htm
• What types of activities, ideas, beliefs, history, music, food or other elements of culture, do members of your subculture share?
• Which elements of culture do you feel "define" this group? That is, which are the most important aspects of culture, to this subculture?
• What man made artifact best represents this group, and how does this artifact connect with other aspects of the subculture?
• What is the "essence" of the subculture or what thing connects all other parts of the subculture?
• What are the beiefs and values held by the subculture?
• What is the "paradigm" or this subcultures' unique way of seeing the world?
• What is this subcultures' relationsip with the dominant American Culture?
Out of Class Essay #1: Define A Popular "Subculture"
What To Do: In your "in-class" essay, you used an living artifact to help you define "American culture." One thing this writing may have show is just how complex the idea "culture" really is, because of its many elements, aspects, and web of commonalities. A subculture is simply a culture within a larger culture, and thus is defined by the same criteria, characterized by the same basic elements of culture; that is, just as the dominant majority culture, any given subculture also has "distinct practices, artifacts, institutions, customs, and values," (2) as Michael Petracca and Madeleine Sorapure describe in the introduction to Common Culture. But that list of shared elements goes on into popular elements as well, such as music, food, sports, technology, movies, television… In this unit, you’ll be focusing on defining a "popular subculture." "Popular" here does not mean "well-liked," but instead encompassing "the most immediate and contemporary elements in our lives-elements which are often subject to rapid changes in a highly technological world in which people are brought closer together by the ubiquitous mass media" (Petracca&Sorapure 3). For this essay, define any popular subculture that you have some knowledge of by describing its essence–what unifies or holds that group together in the most general terms. In other words, define (in a 2-3 page essay of 600 words or more) any subculture by relating certain elements of culture to an "essence" of that subculture, using to at least one "artifact" to help you characterize the group.
Tips on how to do it
• Be sure that this is in essay form, by having a controlling idea (thesis) which guides the reader through your explanation of the subculture described, connecting the ideas in the body of your essay to your main point.
• Include discussion of at least one artifact symbolically connected in some way to the "essence" of the subculture
• Be sure to identify the defining attributes (key elements) of the subculture in detail and connect each element to your understanding (the essence) of the subculture
• Before writing: Do some brainstorming activity (i.e. cluster, outline, freewrite, blocking…)
• Use and Underline 5 coordinators/Subordinators, to show the logical relationship between your ideas.
Explanation: I HAVE READ AND GRADED THE ESSAYS USING THE FOLLOWING GUIDELINE. AFTER ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS, I GIVE THE ESSAY A SCORE BETWEEN 1-10. THIS IS TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND GRADING AND GRADING CRITERIA, SO AS TO HELP YOU BETTER REVISE YOUR WRITING IN FUTURE ASSIGNMENTS.
A=Needs work
B=Adequate
C=Strong
High Quality Calibration
Do You Bleed Silver and Black?
Anyone in the NFL community can pledge, without a doubt, that the Raider Nation is certainly one of the most passionate fan clubs, one that every NFL Football team dreams of having. With their distinct regalia, extreme behavior, and complete devotion to the Raiders, these fans are unified by their belief in the potential of their team and one other essential characteristic key to football in general: Aggression. While the subculture called the Raider Nation could be described in a number of ways, ultimately their "aggressive spirit" connects all of them together as they root for their team.
The Raider Nation have been devoted fans, considered some of the most aggressive and rowdy fans of any of the NFL teams who perform "Raids" instead of your average tailgate party. The Nation, Starting with only seven members then twenty, wanted to show what true fans should be like, noisy, loud and obnoxious when rooting. Now the charter claims to have thousands members spread through out the nation, a nation within a nation. Their head quarters are of course in Oakland, but they have multiple ‘chapters’ through out the US. Religiously they attend every home game, where they park outside the coliseum at four in the morning on Sundays, with high hopes and unquestionable belief in their team. Tailgating for them normally consists of lots of beer, barbequing and music. Once the gates open at nine they enter the coliseum and the ‘Raid’ begins.
Their dress code is in silver and black, often spruced up to look as menacing and domineering as is possible. Whether some are blue collars or white collars, millionaires or average Joes, when a Sunday home game rolls around they’re all in the Raider gear eliminating any social or economic differences that categorizes them. Distinctly dressed in black clothes, pirate suits, bleeding skulls, silver and black body paint and much more, they’re a site you can’t miss at the coliseum. Their appearance alone can send shivers down the spine, sending out the aura of aggression that football embodies.
Their appearance is accompanied by very provocative behavior, becoming a loud, rowdy and fanatical group; it’s as if they transform once they are in the Raider gear. They roam around the coliseum proud of who they are and what they represent. The extreme fans of the Raider Nation, are the Black Hole, who are the ultimate die-hard fans. If the Cleveland Browns’ ‘Dog Pound’ were once perceived as the ultimate fans, the Black hole is now considered the ‘Dog Pound with rabies.’
But has their extreme behavior gone too far? In January 2003, when the Raiders’ won the AFC championship, the joyous celebration of the team turned Oakland streets into a war zone; fans were vandalizing private and public property and engaging in illegal actions against the authorities. It’s inevitable, when you mix alcohol with intense emotion and the key ingredient of the "nation" aggression, the outcome is seldom positive. So, with the public eye highly criticizing the Black Hole and the Raider Nation collectively, members wanted to take steps to distinguish fans from ‘thugs’ who are looking for any excuse to stir trouble. But can a line be drawn between the two, especially since the provocative behavior of the fans is welcomed and enhanced at every game? They thrive for the ‘high’ they get from their behavior, they look forward to it at every game, never ceasing to keep a game exciting, even when the Raiders are losing.
Even when Football season is over, as symbolic as the cross is to Christianity, the Raider logo accessorizes the entire city of Oakland, from bumper stickers to huge Billboards. The patch slung across the steely helmet symbolizes a pirate spirit embodied in the fan-aggressive and willing to take what’s there’s. The Raider logo is the artifact that represents their nation, but it’s not so much as what the logo represents, rather it’s more the unity that it forms between the fans; for example as dangerous as Oakland is, considering the crime rate and the hostility between certain groups, when it comes to the Raiders they are all united, with the same anticipation, same passion and devotion for both the team and the game.
They know every game, every player, every touchdown and every pass. They’ll always support their team no matter what circumstances may arise. At the end of a game or a season, no matter what the outcome is, they’ll still be there for the next game, next season, next decade and even longer. When they return to their everyday lives, even without the outfits and provocative behavior, they are still unified by their passion and devotion to the team. They live for the Raiders, they’ll kill for the Raiders, they bleed ‘silver and black’, the ultimate fans, they are the RAIDER NATION—aggressive, nasty, obnoxious and always rooting for their team..
1. Consider the introduction: Does the writer effectively introduce the main idea of the essay? In other words does the writer introduce you to the subculture and its "essential" definition? Write main idea in your words and give feedback
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback :Raider nation is held together by their love of their team and by "Aggressive" behavior.
2. Looking at the body of the essay: Does the writer effectively tie each body paragraph back to the "essence?" Below summarize each body paragraph's main idea.
None
Some (1 or 2)
Many (more than 2)
Answer: Many (more than 2)
Feedback : History of RN and aggression, Dress code and it's menacing looks, Provacative behavior (2¶'s), Raider logo as artifact
3. Does the writer name "elements" of culture to help define his/her subculture? List which elements are clearly used and give feed back
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : dress, behavior, artifact
4. How would you describe the logic of how the body of the essay is organized?A=Needs work, B=Adequate, C=Strong
A
B
C
Answer: C
Feedback : none
5. Does the writer include analysis of an Artifact which represents the subculture s/he is discussing?
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
6. Does the writer in general tie each paragraph back to the "essence" or the main point of the essay? give constructive feedback if not
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : Each paragraph clearly and explicitly links back to the thesis idea (main point)
7. Generally, Are the Paragraphs organized logically, proving the point related to the maind idea by providing explanation and examples where needed?
A
B
C
Answer: C
Feedback : none
8. Does the writer use specific examples, outside of the artifact, to help clarify his/her definition of the subculture?
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
9. Consider the conclusion: Does the conclusion "kick the reader off" helping him/her see the significance of the definition explained?
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
10. Consider the sentences: Are there obvious grammatical errors which detract from the flow of the essay?
Yes
No
Answer: No
Feedback : none
11. REMINDER: This question is a freebee. Answer YES below but be sure to, after giving their text a score on a scale of 1-10, AND ONLY IN REVIEW PHASE (NOT CALIBRATIONS) to: 1. explain in a brief paragraph what you liked about the writing, and 2. in a more detailed paragraph, explain needs improvement. Be as specific as possible
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
12. How would you rate this text?
10 Highest
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1 Lowest
Rating: 9
Feedback : none
Top
________________________________________
Mid Quality Calibration
Hip-Hop as Subculture
Music is a genre of culture which sets trends, creates diversity, shows history, demonstrates art, and develops its own unique culture in American society. Diversity is visible throughout all aspects of American Culture, when looking at American Music one musical subculture stands out amongst the rest, and that form of music is hip-hip. One of the godfathers of hip-hop, KRS One, states that there are ten elements of hip-hop, but in essence there are three major elements: Graffiti as an art, rhyming ("rapping"), and break dancing.
It seems that intercity life is always portrayed as life in a third world country, where the police are corrupt , bad health care, the abundance of firearms, uneducated people, etc. Most of these are factual characteristics of urban society, but I must ask myself this question: if this is the lifestyle of a minority society, what represents their culture/subculture? Hip-hop shows the rest of American culture what life is like on the other side of the tracks.
Graffiti is one of the most important aspects of hip-hop, and is one of the purest forms of self expression. Urban cities are covered with walls of disgust, in some areas of Brooklyn, New York the walls of the project buildings that face the freeway have been painted over by the city to resemble plant live and blue skies. The city is just trying to cover the ugliness on the otherside of those walls that they don't want to spend money and time fixing. Graffiti plays the role of the protagonist in an urban culture. Graffiti is the art that colors he walls inside of the city that no one wants to see. It may be against the law, but the art represents the real life of urban America, it doesn't disguise the truth. The majority culture has not completely become accustomed to graffiti as a form of art, because the overwhelming middle and upper-class societies do not need to be camouflaged. Something is wrong if so-called democratic state ignores a fairly large amount of the problems in their culture.
A large sum of people refer to hip-hop as gang related music, that is destroying American Culture, but the subculture of hip-hop is positive and truthful. Hip-hip music is the ignored voice of urban American culture. The music, which is a derivative of reggae, jazz, blues and folk music, speaks about the great things and the problems in American culture. When one thinks about hip-hop, names like DMX, Master P, and Nelly register into their psyche. Those are not hip-hop artists/poets, MosDef, Acyalone, Dead Prez, All Natural, Common Sense, Erica Badu, and of course KRS One are fundamental in hip-hop culture. Hip-hop isn't about killing people or joining a gang, it's the exact opposite. Cultural unity, redemption, happiness and stating the aspects of common culture that need change are the true hip-hop messages. The trend of "flowing" has risen from being a productive way for urban youth to spend time, to a universal quality that promotes diversity, by becoming a means for two races to unite. Most of hip-hop music has heavy drumbeats, which is one of the main elements of the original African music. TalibKweli is an artist whose music consists of a positive message about the art and love, while also playing monologues from famous African American Political Leaders and Artists. Talib demonstrates African American history, which leaves the listeners' in an optimistic state of mind; instead of images of violence that gangster hip-hop creates in the listeners' mind.
Another art form that lies in the field of hip-hop is break dancing. This has been a part of the subculture for decades. One doesn't need to have a dance studio or expensive equipment, the only thing needed to break dance is a body and some cardboard. Because of its convenience, and direct correlation to hip-hop music, people of the subculture have another art to perform, which has a constructive role in the urban community. Break dancing originated in the 1970's, and is still around today. Break dancing also shows a form of self expression and competitiveness, which every group or culture needs for survival. It started as an African American dance style, and has now evolved into a diverse subculture of its own, with its own type of music, and all races participate. This aspect of hip-hop has also developed a trend in clothes and parties. The majority of breakers wear Adidas clothes, and most raves and hip-hop shows have a room dedicated for break dancing.
Hip-hop is a crucial in the survival of urban America. Urban youth need positive and productive activities to participate in, so they can overcome the overpowering growth of violence in their culture. Between graffiti, hip-hop music and break dancing, youth and all persons of that subculture can resort to something else that doesn't harm their community. The subculture of hip-hop will set trends and create history for future generations of urban peoples, and for America in general.
1. Consider the introduction: Does the writer effectively introduce the main idea of the essay? In other words does the writer introduce you to the subculture and its "essential" definition? Write main idea in your words and give feedback
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback :The first two paragraphs seem to be introducing the hip hop subculure as a group whose essence is to present what life is like on the other side of the tracks.
2. Looking at the body of the essay: Does the writer effectively tie each body paragraph back to the "essence?" Below summarize each body paragraph's main idea.
None
Some (1 or 2)
Many (more than 2)
Answer: Some (1 or 2)
Feedback :The paragraph on Graffiti tries to link graffiti and a democratic statement, but not clearly enough. The paragraph on the musicians, does a decent job of linking the positive message to the idea presented in the intro, but here too, not clear enough. the break dancing passage makes no real connection to main idea.
3. Does the writer name "elements" of culture to help define his/her subculture? List which elements are clearly used and give feed back
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : Art-graffitti
4. How would you describe the logic of how the body of the essay is organized?A=Needs work, B=Adequate, C=Strong
A
B
C
Answer: B
Feedback : none
5. Does the writer include analysis of an Artifact which represents the subculture s/he is discussing?
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
6. Does the writer in general tie each paragraph back to the "essence" or the main point of the essay? give constructive feedback if not
Yes
No
Answer: No
Feedback :Because the thesis isn't clear, the writers attempt at linking the paragraphs is ambiguous at best. EVENSO, you can see attempts and in the tops of the paragraphs, although unclear, at tying the essay together.
7. Generally, Are the Paragraphs organized logically, proving the point related to the maind idea by providing explanation and examples where needed?
A
B
C
Answer: B
Feedback : none
8. Does the writer use specific examples, outside of the artifact, to help clarify his/her definition of the subculture?
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
9. Consider the conclusion: Does the conclusion "kick the reader off" helping him/her see the significance of the definition explained?
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
10. Consider the sentences: Are there obvious grammatical errors which detract from the flow of the essay?
Yes
No
Answer: No
Feedback : none
11. REMINDER: This question is a freebee. Answer YES below but be sure to, after giving their text a score on a scale of 1-10, AND ONLY IN REVIEW PHASE (NOT CALIBRATIONS) to: 1. explain in a brief paragraph what you liked about the writing, and 2. in a more detailed paragraph, explain needs improvement. Be as specific as possible
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback :a strong 7, with good overall elements of culture listed here, but needing a more explicit structure and organizatioin to the essay, and in conjunction a clearer thesis.
12. How would you rate this text?
10 Highest
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1 Lowest
Rating: 7
Feedback : none
Top
________________________________________
Low Quality Calibration
Subculture and it’s Impact on Society
Every Friday in high school, there would be a group of guys who wore their jerseys to school, letting the whole school know that they are part of a subculture, the Football team. The definition of subculture, “a cultural subgroup differentiated by status, ethnic background, residence, religion, or other factors that functionally unify the group and act collectively on each member”. Football, known as the “American Sport” is an exclusive group of people who share the same interest and are willing to put that interest to action and represent the school in that interest. Therefore, it is also a subculture of America, representing this country as a subculture. Although playing on a football team does not exclude people by their race or age, but they are exclusive in the way of interest and by skill. They well represent their subculture by having distinct practices, they represent themselves as a subculture distinctively and having a certain rituals that they do to illustrate to the public that they are part of a certain group. Part of the definition of being part of a subculture is having distinct practices that distinguish themselves from the other football teams or other sport subcultures.
They having their daily practices, unique to their team illustrated the football team’s distinct practices. Everyday, they would go to the fields and practice the team’s unique plays that only the members would have knowledge of and practice them. Also, the way that they have their football camps and sharing that bond and interest with each other makes them special and each member have a special connection with one another. Not only does the title, being on the football team make them a member of the subculture, but also sharing that interest and bond with each other makes the membership in the group that much more special.
They represent themselves as a subculture distinctively by wearing their football uniforms to school. The only reason why the members of this subculture would wear their uniforms to school is to show the public that they are a subculture, which they belong to a group. This aspect of their subculture can be a factor in when people decide to join a certain group. The fact that they represent themselves visually to the general public, and to be in their group, they would need to tryout, show the exclusiveness of their group and that holds a value to their subculture. Little attributes like wearing their uniforms to show the unity and what they represent is all part of the definition of a subculture. There were other ways to show their representation in the subculture other than wearing the same uniforms.
Not only do cheerleaders cheer for players during the game; even football players have a small cheer to get them pumped up before each game. For example, our school’s football team would chant, “Who’s house? Vikes’ House!” before each game when they are huddled in middle of the field. Anyone else who would say this would be looked frown upon, considering that they are not part of the group, and only those who are will be accepted when they say it. That itself will give a common sense of exclusion to the public. By the members saying that, they are identifying themselves to the group just as well as them wearing their uniforms.
Even a little group like a football team can be a good representation of America’s subculture. All of the characteristics of a subculture are included in the subculture of a football team. Like the way they have distinct practices that is only unique to there team, visually represent themselves by wearing a uniform, the customs of certain cheers that they would do as tradition. All of these characteristics of the football team contribute to the fact that they are a subculture and that represent American ideas and culture.
1. Consider the introduction: Does the writer effectively introduce the main idea of the essay? In other words does the writer introduce you to the subculture and its "essential" definition? Write main idea in your words and give feedback
Yes
No
Answer: No
Feedback :The writer understands how to introduce, but doesn't emphasize an essence here, or give a statement that is really broad enough to prove. having distinct practices is not enough until you isolate the key distinct practice.
2. Looking at the body of the essay: Does the writer effectively tie each body paragraph back to the "essence?" Below summarize each body paragraph's main idea.
None
Some (1 or 2)
Many (more than 2)
Answer: None
Feedback :The writer attempts to, but with such a narrow thesis, this becomes just throwing the word "distinct" into the paragraphs.
3. Does the writer name "elements" of culture to help define his/her subculture? List which elements are clearly used and give feed back
Yes
No
Answer: No
Feedback :While practice, and cheerleaders (cheerleading), and uniforms are mentioned, are these really "elements of cultures," or just the football subculture? How about language, or history, or music, or other shared traditions?
4. How would you describe the logic of how the body of the essay is organized?A=Needs work, B=Adequate, C=Strong
A
B
C
Answer: A
Feedback :How could a reader know what kind of an ordering would work, without a clear understanding of what the overall point is?
5. Does the writer include analysis of an Artifact which represents the subculture s/he is discussing?
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
6. Does the writer in general tie each paragraph back to the "essence" or the main point of the essay? give constructive feedback if not
Yes
No
Answer: No
Feedback :It's in considering the relationship between the ideas presented that lurks a thesis (main idea), the understood "essence" of the highschool football subculture.
7. Generally, Are the Paragraphs organized logically, proving the point related to the maind idea by providing explanation and examples where needed?
A
B
C
Answer: B
Feedback :The paragraphs have a topic, but usually not a clear point.
8. Does the writer use specific examples, outside of the artifact, to help clarify his/her definition of the subculture?
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
9. Consider the conclusion: Does the conclusion "kick the reader off" helping him/her see the significance of the definition explained?
Yes
No
Answer: No
Feedback : none
10. Consider the sentences: Are there obvious grammatical errors which detract from the flow of the essay?
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
11. REMINDER: This question is a freebee. Answer YES below but be sure to, after giving their text a score on a scale of 1-10, AND ONLY IN REVIEW PHASE (NOT CALIBRATIONS) to: 1. explain in a brief paragraph what you liked about the writing, and 2. in a more detailed paragraph, explain needs improvement. Be as specific as possible
Yes
No
Answer: Yes
Feedback : none
12. How would you rate this text?
10 Highest
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1 Lowest
Rating: 5
Feedback : none